bastante...

this morning iwoke up to one 'a those days.... the ground was tinged with fog and dampness from the night before. a chill seemed to penetrate the still, "summer" morning. i awoke with the knowledge of the tasks that lay before me - a yoga class i was, as of yet, unprepared to teach - plus a middle back so stiff from work and an oversoft mattress i doubted my ability to do much in that arena.. at all. friends, family, house, dogs, car..... the over-brimming bowl of neverending to-dos that seems to greet me 'round every waking turn.

i woke up with that overwhelming feeling that today - as i am - i'm simply not enough. i need a cuppa' coffee, screw it, i need seven! i need a team of helpers, little elves and willing gelflings who throng to do my bidding - and my laundry. I want so much. I want a life that is full & brimming - and I want to bask in this fullness always. And sometimes I do. gleefully, swimmingly - full.

and then there's those lonesome, foggy saturdays...

i love the word in spanish... "bastante"... there's a lilting, gracious quality that the english equivalent simply does not match. Bastante... the word means enough. as in, what you are, where you are, right here in this moment, all messy, tired, aching spine of you- is enough. you may not have everything you want nor desire in this current frame, but rest assured... bastante... there is just enough.. of everything you need.

i get so friggin' busy micro-managing my thoughts, my time, my life... i need to recognize the gift - of quiet, of still - of humble satiety - that awaits me - each time i can just release the reigns enough to listen... that sweet, melodic tune that greets me like the sound of a soft hammock swaying sweetly in the breeze... Bastante... be quiet. rest. you are just exactly where you ought to be.. no need to push, to struggle, to do... you are beautifully, mercifully - Enough.