...hello old chum...

well, it must needs be said... today. i feel like shit. utter, smelly, composting heap 'o crap. in addition to my newfound running regime (makin' sweet, sweet daily love to my new friend the treadmill...) and the lovely northwest weather (wool sweaters in june?!?!? FUH REALZ?!?!?) i have decided, in typical, amy-fashion, i might add, that if one good turn deserves another.. in this case.. one turn should equal.. three! haha.....

sooo... as an added bonus to this lovely health kick may i introduce door # 1...
http://omshalayoga.com/the-yogi-purifying-cleanse ...
7 days of wheatgrass, sprouted quinoa, herbal tea &, oh goody, kombu-enemas... which has got me feeling well.. err... at the very least just pissed. or at least my body is... as if it seems to say.. ya know, hun, if you were gonna start implementing all this physical activity you might at least dangle a friggin' carrot (i.e. cup of coffee & some chocolate!!!) at the end of this rope.. just for morale, if nothing else. sheesh.

i have also, equally wisely as you can imagine, decided in the midst of this to expand my yoga practice.. more classes, more arm-balances, more time spent in the company of lithe 4% body fat little gumbys who do ... absolutely NADA... to remind me of my own inner brightness.. value.. and beauty. Blah.

so on the way into the grocery store today it seemed appropos that i should find, bright & glistening on the wet pavement, not one but Two, shiny pennies.. one heads-up.. the good luck variety, eh? and the other... you guessed... its' shiny tail-end mooning up at me to say ha! and hello. and so i scooped them both up, exhaustedly, smirking.. I get it. I get it. for while the valley lacks both the scenery and imagination to make my spirits soar... (instead perhaps to plummet).. i acknowledge its necessity.... its placement..

so in ending i quote from a soul more wise & poetic than i.. From Khalil Gibran...
..."Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
... they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. ....

and so i breathe.. and so it is...

...a deux...

so i'm following this book....http://www.amazon.com/Nonrunners-Marathon-Guide-Women-Training/dp/1580052053/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1307119714&sr=1-1#_ ... technically.... mostly cuz of the charts. i love charts (and loathe them in equal measure,truth be told.) but she's got this really lovely week-by-week,day-by-day training schedule for the newly reformed couch potato. (another less-than-scintillating factoid..i am,in fact,not the aforementioned couch-dwelling root vegetable.well. not all the time. i work. i do yoga. i am scant weeks away from balancing on my hands in the middle my living room...any day now! i can feel it!!! but there are definitely some nice,languid gaps in between vigorous physical activity you might say...) ...
so... for the girl who is often prone to decide after months of inertia to,oh,i dunno decide..."hey! who's up for an 8-mile uphill jog?!?" Yay!!! which i will,in fact, enjoy immensely....and which will subsequenly send me sailing right back to that happy,ass-grooved spot on the sofa for a few more days (or weeks) of unplanned,err,restoration... ahhh... yes.
...and so... the chart.. for the last thing this lady wants when she's taking on a brand new endeavor is to have to painstakingly lay the groundwork for said endeavor. a harbinger i am not.. while i applaud the entrepenaurial impulse in others,i myself am disinclinced to jettison out my trusty pocket knife, whittle down an old-growth redwood with the will and callous of my own bare hands...and re-invent the friggin' wheel... when my beloved bookstore has a lovely assortment of them... of varying grains & colors for me to choose from... all shining and new... ready to roll on home to my humble abode.
so.
week 1~ 5days a week with rest days built in. yes.and yes. ...
Tuesday begins this maiden voyage,you might say with 35. yes, gentle,unimpressed reader... 35 Minutes of jogging. same on wednesday ,with a cross-training day on thursday (do a few sprinklings of downward facing dog throughout the day qualify???) ...with THE BIG GUNS,, err.. Runs... coming out to play like slobbering,menacing dogs on the weekend. we'll start you off with a whimpering schnauzer. a mere 45 minute saunter,if you please... pay at the window....
and so..my glittering journey into the great,blue beyond continues... slowly. ant-like. composted food morsel by morsel...the hive is built.

...commencement...

day 1. of what i am referring to as the "temple" project.. as in... your body is your temple, that old adage.. and really i am excited. because here i am. 29.
... and i find the past 10-15 years of my life i have managed to thoroughly explore the other end of the spectrum... "body as carnival ride..." or.."ill-advised science experiment"... or perhaps, less politely.. body as "garbage heap". come! toss whatever you may in me! i can take it! eating disorders! substance abuse! lousy boyfriends and random sexual partners! let 'er rip! woo-hoo!!!

sheesh. and one wonders why one does not always feel one's brightest nor best. so. i thank thee. late teens and early twenties. for showing me thoroughly, completely, unabashedly the extents to which i can push my body, my spirits, my psyche... and still emerge relatively unscathed, unbattered... still whole. some how.

and so here we are. day one. cuz what would it feel like? to really take care of this little vessel 'o mine? nourish it in every possible way... my thoughts, my food, each action taken... how brightly can a thing shine? how loud & clear can the damn bell ring? i aim to find out. so. today.

5 times around (with my trusty little mutt =)the little loop trail that encircles my forested home. 30 minutes. a scant bit more than 2 miles. (a record-maker i am not.) no coffee. just tea. lots of vegetables & a teeth cleaning to boot! woo-hoo! so like a teetering soul just new to recovery i breathlessly remind myself...
one step at a time.. one step at a time... and hopefully.. the journey from an aimless pile of bricks... to a thing of hallowed beauty is not... so very.. far. ...