"to be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night & day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight: and never stop fighting." ~e.e. cummings~
Monday, June 25, 2007
...of remembrance and forgetfulness...
things to remember...
~the absolutely delicious coffee served in little porcelain cups at every little cafe that lines the street
~a little irish pub with scattered newspapers and half-full ashtrays with the lilting lovely sounds of a man and his guitar humming wistfully in the background..
~the opera house - yes, just as large and lovely and luminous as every postcard would have you believe. simply stunning. i sat in a toilet stall and stared in joy and amazement at the architechtural grandeur around me...
~the warmth and glow of "very english" looking faces buzzing around pints of "old admiral" and "3 sheets" and plates of "pie" - mashed potatoes and peas and gravy in flaky crust - smiling scrumptuously in the brasserie - oldest hotel in sydney - and my new favorite place
~the rain and bookshops and smiles and love made in a small creaky bed and a bowl of very good noodles chased down with a glass of equally good wine....
ahhhh.
things to forget...
~a wicked evil argument brewed over a heap of spicy fish cakes - half fuming/half sobbing the two and half blocks back to the hotel...
~the look on the face of the one you love after you have shared words you know you oughtn't
~who is the better traveler? me or him? for all his talk, he sometimes seems a step behind...
~and that's it - for now - the very mixed bag - all fodder for the ongoing conversation... and on to see what shall last... and is better left behind...
Thursday, June 21, 2007
...let it begin...
ahhh... so much for the merry month of may. how about the mother-f-ing crazy month of may? (not quite the same ring, i suppose. tsk, tsk.)
well, it's been a time of....well, err... actually, somebody tell me because at this point i wax amnesiac. the correct words are "a time of friends and family and a frenzied whirl of activity and togetherness..." or somesuch thing. and the truth is it's been lovely and crazy and irritating and dull and harried and stupid and brilliant and equal parts light/dark and forwards-to-backwards. but it is time...
the trip looms heavy on the horizon - but light, so so utterly light... i crave the hollowing and refining that it promises. i want to feel for a moment, that there are things so much greater and bigger than i - worlds beyond the small, comfortable platform i inhabit.
i want to feel humbled yet cradled, majestic yet minute. it is the very thing the whole of me pines for at this moment. to lose myself in the rush of it for a moment (and alternately, if i may embrace the cliche - find myself as well)...
make it simple, stripped down to its essence and its ether. and may it do the same to me. so much distraction and futility - turning an eye toward the other....
it is time...it is time.
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